So I've come to the conclusion that during the accident I got a concussion. (Say that ten times fast)

As soon as my body started feeling better I think I lost my mind. But my days of being dizzy, confused and staring into space like a mosquito to the light are soon to be over (I hope).

Do you know what happens when you're stuck in a state of confusion while serving tables at a restaurant? People get angry!

I'm feeling "sharper" today. I even had enough brain power to write this and send it. I don't know how many text messages, tweets, or emails I started to write and forgot about.

Shenanigans.

Thursday me and Melissa were heading to the mall when a woman coming the opposite direction, OUT OF NOWHERE, decided to make a left hand turn in front of us. Melissa was driving and tried to avoid a head on collision but she still hit us hard.

Melissa's car is totaled, but we're lucky to be walking away without so much as a broken bone. We're super sore, though. Moping around like grumpy senior citizens.

I don't think I've ever felt so stupid. I was so confused for the rest of the day and I still feel slow and delayed. Some time after the accident I was standing in a pile of red ants and didn't even realize it.

Brain power come backkk.

Yesterday was 6/4/09. Something life changing usually happens on this date.

Nothing life changing to report on, but, come to think of it, it's only been on the even numbered years (ie 04-06).

364 days til something cool happens. YES. Here is what happened, instead of cool.

I had crab legs for the first time. All the work of cracking everything open turned out to be very gratifying.

I developed a sty in my right eye and it had a couple tea bagging sessions. (This actually works really well, as long as you are actually using a tea bag, pervert)

I have had a headache 80% of the day and took two showers. I am also writing this from my blackberry because my internet stopped working 2 hours ago.

June 6th, you let me down!

i wonder if i'll ever get out of the little financial hole i'm in. on a positive note: the "recession" doesn't phase me. on a negative note: that's because my life is a recession. i don't even know where my debt came from. i have a nice laptop, fairly nice cameras, and a crappy car. that's not debt worthy! my car was paid for in cash, too.

i don't regret getting a credit card, because realistically i wouldn't have my lovely gadgets that allow me to express myself otherwise.

i gladly sacrifice the things i can't afford to do (because of credit card payments) for the things that really make me happy. and for as long as i've had the internet i've easily downloaded programs, music and movies that probably surpass my debts.

così è la vita. and mi debt es tu debt. kowabunga.

oh life, i wish i could quit you.

i have this theory: don't do drugs. aside from tequila, i've enjoyed every influence i've ever been under, and that is a very scary thought. i don't do/try certain drugs because i'll probably like them. i'm not straight edge or uptight, this is plain and simple. i've never heard anybody say "i tried crack, hated it, not for me."

why can't people chill the eff out, take a [normal] dose of xanax and get over it. why does everyone numb their pain with even more pain? it makes no sense.

it's easy for me to say this considering i've never done anything too crazy, but i stick to what i know.

you might: snort something up your nose.
i might: cry and then blow my nose.

we'll both lose sleep and wake up with puffy eyes, but i'll still have my money and my kisses won't taste like battery acid. if you need me to i'll punch you in the face 'til you cry, because maybe that's all you really need.

i guess i'm bitter. if you have a drug you love, keep it to yourself. i'm so tired of watching people destroy their life (and mine) over a pill or powder. i also really hate that everyone at my job is turning into an addict of some kind.

get OVER IT. it's this new pill, i'll sell it to you for $5. comes with a free kick in the face and a box of tissues.

i have a hard time admitting when people are important to me. i'm not the big badass you think i am (or don't think i am). my confidence gets confused for coldness. i am not intimidated, but i am always affected.

i hold no grudges, and i've ignored you long enough. if you care enough to read this, you deserve to hear it.

1. thank you for your apologies, i accept them sincerely. you destroyed my peace of mind at my job, and that's why i refuse to speak to you. i feel your pain through compassion and i now understand why you did some of the crazy ass things you did. i will never agree with them, though, or trust you again. that is not how you treat someone you are "in love" with. your love is dark and you reacted to everything with a permanent marker. you ruined my chances completely and that is why i'll never give you the same in return. i hope you understand and i wish you the best. also, on a honest note, photography is not for you. try advertising instead because you've always been good at getting attention.

2. you used me, and i used you. i know you're sorry and you should know that i am too. i have not contacted you because you are a leech. hanging out with you for a day might cause me to file bankruptcy after i buy you cigarettes, booze and dinner everyday for a month.

3. you were lovely when i first met you. you brought me out of the shell i still had my foot wedged in. you were also the perfect example of everything i didn't want to be. i haven't heard from you since the day i told you i'd never talk to you again. i hope your newborn son helps heal your pride and void.

easy as 1,2,3. and yes, i've had a couple screwdrivers.